How to not solve a problem

How to not solve a problem????

My dear readers, it is a shame that ever since our childhood, we are always taught, especially in those monstrous mathematics classes, how to solve a problem. But sooner or later we realize, that the real problem is to know, how to not solve a problem.
You might be a politician who knows you can’t get rid of unemployment. You may be the head of a philanthropic organization who knows you can’t improve the environment. Or you might be a CEO who knows you can’t stop plundering your employees.
Then arises the need for this most useful skill "how to not solve a problem". Sorry, sorry my bad. "How to keep solving a problem forever".

First you gather all the involved parties and debate over the existence of problem. Once you realize that you can not deny the fact that there is a problem, you unwillingly admit to it. Only if you fail to delocalise the problem, you localise it.

Now you try to forget the actual solution of the problem, as you know, it can’t be done. Once you have conveniently forgotten the most obvious solution that even a three-year-old can find, your creativity starts.

You have to distort the issue so much that neither reason nor logic can be applied (If not, someone might actually show you the solution).
Now you start the analysis of causes of the problem taking care not to accidentally spill out the actual cause. 
Once you have conveniently started beating around the bush, you pull out a group of scapegoats. These are the causes, you say. Truth can be stated once and it will be enough. Since you are not truthful, you have to repeat it several times a minute, from various sources, so that everyone will agree that they are the real causes of problem.

Once everyone has finally stopped focussing on the actual issue, you use all your policy making skills to come up with a  solution that is not feasible (if it is feasible, everyone will realize that it’s not working). You make a grand ceremony for the beginning of the perpetual solution.

Once the solution starts being implemented, you will put up ways to collect feedback, taking extreme care not to give it any importance. "Constructive criticism is the source of improvement", you say. So, you just let them criticise.

You go through racist disctionaries, and comeup with a convenient term to name all those who try to show the facts. 

Once the cycle of implementing audacious programs and neglecting any kind of criticism is set up, you come out.

Now, there is a problem that you are sure will never be solved. You are the one fighting it. The solution is being implemented. Continuous monitoring is being done to improve upon the solution. You are the hero. The scapegoats are the villains. And you live happily ever after.

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